I Am a Mother
Mother: Noun. a woman in relation to a child or children to whom she has given birth. When you look into your newborn's eyes, what do you feel?
Women become mothers in so many ways, adoption, surrogacy, vaginal birth, cesarean birth, or simply being a mother to a child they know. I am a mother and so are you.
Society talks a lot about how a woman gives birth and all that surrounds the pregnancy and the delivery, we do not often talk about the emotions, the challenges, and the joys that go into pregnancy and child birth.
I'll share with you a little bit about me- I gave birth to my daughter by cesarean. Let me repeat that, I gave birth to my daughter by cesarean. Giving birth by cesarean was probably the last thing I expected, but as an avid planner, I had a plan for it. The details of my birth story do not really matter. I had an amazing provider, an amazing doula team, an amazingly supportive partner, a voice, choices, and a strong willed baby girl on the way. For the longest time, years, I struggled with my power as a woman, as a mother. I struggled to think that I did give birth to my daughter, I struggled to think that I was strong.
Here is what I have learned:
I am strong.
I am a mother.
I am an amazing doula, I support women as they give birth all year long, and something I *knew*, but had to learn to believe was that how I gave birth does not define me. It does not define me as a person, a woman, a mother, or a doula. I love having one child, will I have more? I do not know. How will I choose to give birth to them? I do not know until I come to that time in my life. However, I do know this, whatever I choose, VBAC, RSC, HBAC or nothing, I am strong and I am a mother. And that is enough.
When you look into the eyes of that tiny human that you grew and birthed, think on your strength and the power that your body had to grow and birth a human. Think on your love for your little baby.
I never intend to negate the feelings you have regarding how you delivered. Do I wish I had experienced vaginal birth? In some ways yes, but then again every baby has their own unique birth story. Do I have hard days sometimes? Yes, absolutely, but I no longer think I did less or I am less because I didn't give birth the "right" way.